Sybren

When I was a youngster I went through a series of disturbingly 19th century loves. It was always the same; struck by lightning the first time I saw the guy, trying to figure out where I could see him as often as possible, spending months and months eyeing the (frequently nick-named, for I rarely knew their real name) object, and after about 9 months (I swear) the pressure got too high and I just had to get in touch with the guy. I was very lucky, for the guy was always a sweet guy, straight or gay, most of the time kindly thanked me for the compliment, and then explained that the feelings weren't mutual. Took me about a week of mourning to get over it, before I was struck by a new lightning bolt.

Sybren was one of those bolts. I first saw him at a club I frequented in Amsterdam, and since he always leaned against one of the pillars there the nick-name was quickly found: Pillar Saint.

This was one of the first series I made for Ontmoetingen, and in more than one way it was an important shoot. I guess most important was that while I was shooting I realized underwear didn't work. That on its own is not the most shocking conclusion, but me asking the model to take off his clothes was a big deal. But I did it. Not because I was so eager to check out the crown jewels (more often than not I didn't even dare to look) but because nudity was needed to make the timeless images I wanted to make.

I ended up talking to him after many, many months, and while he didn't yearn for me the way I did for him he did become a friend. When I asked him to pose for the Ontmoetingen series he was willing to come along. In Christian mythology there are a number of saints who crawled on top of a pillar and spent their days there honoring God. True Pillar Saints! One of the more famous ones was Simon Stylites. Guess this would be Sybren Stylites?

Another Pillar Saint, now shopping in the Christian imagery.

I met Sybren in a gay club and I didn't have to wriggle my way around the "gay thing". It was obvious from the get go. Which made it easy for me to arrive at the story of Saint Sebastian, who has been used for centuries as one of the few excuses within Christianity to depict male nudity, besides Christ on the cross. And while it is obvious that a naked Christ could never contain any sensual or sexual quality, artists were at times freer with Sebastian. He did become sort of the "gay saint". Sebastian was shot with arrows by his colleagues, for being Christian. Nothing as brutal in my images, I had him shot by roses. Gay much?

Another Sebastian, another rosy death.